Moop: The Series! The Revised Edition
by Saph Rose
Summary: A series of drabbles, ranging from long to short, revolving around worldwide sensation, Moop! Now that they're rich and famous, the boys only have to worry about screaming fangirls, paparazzi and tabloids. Being edited, reworded and made more awesome! :D
1. Songwriting

_**SORRY GUYS! I'LL BE AT CAMP UNTIL AUGUST 1ST!**_

_**But when I get back I'll have tons of free time, way more than I've had recently. SO I WILL FINISH THIS SERIES WITH A BANG!**_

_**Hope I don't turn any potential readers off with this. If this is your first time ever reading this series... um, ignore this? :D :D :D**_

_

* * *

I love the way you look into my eyes_

_it's like you're staring into my soul._

_Even when you don't really see me,_

_you know I'm thinking of you._

* * *

"Cartman, that makes no sense. We're not putting that into the song."

By the look on Kyle's face, the boys could see he meant business. Cartman frowned and Kenny got up to turn up the heater. Stan was asleep, tired out after the hours they'd spent in front of screaming fans in concert.

"Kahl, I don't think you understand the complexity of this song I'm writing."

"It's stupid and it's not going in our album."

Eric Cartman looked at Kyle with a bored expression on his face. They went through this most every time they tried to sit down and write songs without Stan's help. "You seem to misunderstand your position in this band, my dear Kahl. You are the sweet one and I am the tough leader. That means I decide what words go into our songs," he said.

Kyle's face was getting redder at every word Cartman was spewing from the hole in his face. He said from between clenched teeth, "Stan is the songwriter! Not you, fatass!"

Cartman smirked and said, "Well, Stan is asleep right now. Which makes me the songwriter. Isn't that right Kenny?" The blond boy looked over at the bickering twosome, and rolled his eyes. "I don't care," he said, "I'm tired and it's freezing. Is your heater broken or something, Cartman?"

"Not as far as I know."

Kenny looked frustrated, "You see, this is why I wear my parka all the time. I can't deal with the cold weather." Earlier today, during their concert back home in Colorado as a part of their nationwide tour, Kenny had taken off his trademark orange parka because of the heat in the stadium and the fangirls went wild. A few had jumped on stage and ripped the parka from his hands. He had made sure the security wasn't too harsh on them, but he was really pissed.

"Excuse me, earth to fatass. I think we should just wait until Stan wakes up and let him decide," said Kyle.

He really didn't think it was fair how he got the lamest role in the whole group. Stan was the cute, sensitive one, Kenny was the sexy one, and Cartman was the giant Juggernaut 'super cool badass', as he put it. Usually, the girls fawned over all four of them equally, but it seemed like Stan, Kenny and Cartman got more attention than him.

It was probably because he was the quiet type. Kyle did most of the behind the scenes work with the manager and publicist of the group. Which was, 'mega boring as hell' as Cartman liked to put it. Which was mostly true, but he got more joy out of organizing interviews than doing them.

In all, being celebrities hadn't changed the boys personalities much. Stan was still happy-go lucky, Kenny was still perverted and Cartman was still narcissistic, rude, fat, psychopathic, and... well, you get the point. And Kyle was just the quiet ginger, who only raised his voice when he was upset. Usually with Cartman.

Like right now.

"You are so fucking stupid Cartman! I do not have sand in my fucking vagina!"

Cartman grinned, "It's just a metalaphor, Kahl. So you admit you have a vagina?" Kenny watched Kyle knock the stack of CDs piled on the ground in his room, which seemed much smaller now that they were back home and used to, well, giant hotel rooms and penthouses.

"The word is metaphor, lardass, not metalaphor. God, talking to you is like talking to a little kid!"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but you're jealous because I'm a much better songwriter than you."

Suddenly, Stan piped up, "Would you two please shut the fuck up? I'm trying to sleep. And no, I don't like those lyrics, Cartman. We're not keeping them."

* * *

A/N: Hi! Did you miss me?

Yeah. Right.

:P

I've been at boarding school in North Carolina since September 29th, 2009. But now, I'm back in my home country and all is well. I come armed with new skills, new interests and the same sense of humor.

:D

I figured I might as well update and shit.

BUT FIRST! Reading over Moop: The Series, I found too many errors for me to live with myself. x_x So I am determined to fix it before there are any updates :D

So don't concern yourself with reviewing until I put up a new one.

Bai bai.


	2. Interview

_One song_

_about a girl._

_Can't breathe_

_when I'm around her._

* * *

Some fat broad was currently asking the boys of Moop some very personal questions, and Kyle didn't like it. They say any publicity is good publicity, but after the whole, "Eric Cartman of Moop is having an affair with his one of his band mate's girlfriend!" scandal, the boys had learned to keep their mouths shut on certain things.

They were sitting in an office, doing an interview for OK! Magazine. It was week three of their tour and they had taken time out of their hectic schedule to sit down with the magazine's top editor.

The walls were peeling, and it smelled kind of like pee, but they both knew that the interviewer raked in at least 150k a year.

They weren't surrounded by cameras in front of a studio audience, like they were used to. Instead, it was just Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman with the dumb broad and their publicist in the background, telling them what they can and can't say. But Wendy, their publicist, knew that Kyle had it under control.

There was a tape recorder on the hard wooden table in front of them, and somehow that was even more unnerving than a dozen cameras.

Cartman had kind of spaced out when the next question was directed at him, "So Eric, who do you think you're closest to in the band. As in, who is your closest friend?"

He had been about to answer none, he hated all of them when Kyle nudged him, so he rolled his eyes and said the line that Kyle had made all of the boys memorize when asked too much of a personal question. "That's personal. If we could keep this interview about the music, that would be great." he said in a deadpan voice. Frankovitz? She's probably Jewish. God, that would make complete sense right now, Cartman thought.

Kyle smiled. He had taught him well. The lady, who's name Kyle remembered was Natasha Frankovitz, looked kind of frustrated. She cleared her throat and directed the next question at Kenny, who was wearing that mysterious smile he always had on his face.

"Kenny, you're twenty-two, and I correct?" she said. Kenny nodded his head, wondering where this was going. Then he remembered he was supposed to answer each question out loud, so he mumbled, "Yeah, that's right."

Ms. Frankovitz smiled and said, "What does it feel like being a year older than your band mates?"

Kenny responded the same way as Cartman. The interviewer frowned, but pushed on "Were you kept down a year in school or did you start school late?" she said.

Wendy cleared her throat and said softly from the back of the room, "I think this interview is about finished. We've been here for two hours, I trust you've gotten enough information to fill your article."

Natasha looked annoyed, but she kept that unnerving smile on her face and she said from between lipstick stained teeth, "Yes, I do believe I've gotten enough on these boys to fill an entire issue of the magazine."

Kyle frowned. That didn't sound good.

OK! Magazine's EXCLUSIVE Interview with Teen Sensation, Moop!

What you didn't know about America's dream boys!

Kyle skimmed through the article. He normally didn't read the tabloids, but he made an exception because they had consented to this interview. He picked out choice sentences and underlined them to show the guys tomorrow.

Kyle was reading aloud the parts of their interview that he had underlined. They were sitting in their tour bus, on their way out of Massachusetts, their last concert in Boston.

"Listen to this, Stan. 'Stan, the blue-eyed heart throb that the tween population of America fell in love with is not the sweet gentle guy you all know and love. When asked a series of questions, he responded in a surprising offhanded, rude way.'

Stan's jaw dropped, "Me? I barely said three words to the lady! Cartman's the rude one!"

"Aye!"

Kyle frowned and kept on reading, "Unfortunately, the rest of the band were just as rude as their rudest member. During the interview that OK! Magazine did with them, they seemed dazed and slightly out of it. Perhaps they had taken drugs before stepping into our office?"

Wendy looked like she wanted to march down to the interviewer's house and murder her. "How dare she? You guys were courteous and polite to her. And you don't ever take drugs! I think we should bring your lawyers into this!"

"Kenny takes drugs."

"As if weed really counts as drugs, Cartman! Besides, I haven't gotten high for a few days."

"I got the worst review, you guys! This is so unfair!"

"C'mon Wendy, we're going to sue this lady for slander."

"You said it!"

* * *

A/N: Ah, the sweet beginning~ :3

We're introduced to Kenny's pothead tendencies and observe just how much the boys have changed over the years (not at all).

(A/N from old MTS that I deem relevant: _Also, those words at the beginning are lyrics to either a song I've written myself, or a song I can picture Moop singing._)

_About a Girl - The Academy is..._


	3. Fangirls

_There's only one thing_

_to do,_

_three words_

_for you._

_I love you._

_

* * *

_

Kyle Broflovski panted and looked behind his shoulder. His hat was falling off and sweat was dripping off his face. His friends were in the same condition as he was, Cartman looked like he was just about ready to pass out, Kenny's parka had come undone. Stan, who had parts of his shirt ripped off, said, "Guys, we're just going to have to make a break for it." He also looked behind his shoulder. The girls were nowhere in sight.

Cartman was pissed off, he panted out, "This was your fucking idea, Kenny. 'Oh, let's go for a walk, we don't need security or even a car. Fresh air is so cool.' If we get out of this alive I'm going to kick you square in the nuts."

Kyle said, "Wait, we don't have to run. I have a better idea. Come over here, Cartman." The taller boy looked puzzled, but then slowly crawled over to Kyle's spot. "Yeah?" he said. Kyle reached over from his place hiding behind the dumpster and punched Cartman in the nose, promptly knocking him out. Stan gaped and Kenny said, "Damn, you're strong, dude. But why did you do that?"

Kyle grinned and said, "So now I can do _this._" He grabbed unto Cartman's legs and dragged all 220lbs of him unto the sidewalk, then quickly ran back to his hiding space behind the dumpster. He squealed in a falsetto voice, "Oh my God! Here's one of them! "

They heard the stomp of dozens of girls, from age 3 to age 60 running and screaming. One of them cried out, "Oh my God, it's Eric!" which sent the girls into an even bigger frenzy. By now, Cartman was coming to. Though his vision was hazy, he could clearly see nearly fifty girls reaching for him. Before he knew it, they'd taken everything.

His piercings had been pulled out, most of his clothes had been ripped off and his iPod, which was brand new and had his name engraved on the back (courtesy of Apple Corp. for Moop selling a million copies of their album on iTunes) had been stolen.

He looked around for his friends and, obviously, they had slipped out during the confusion. There were still hounds of paparazzi and curious people snapping photos of him, but his friends were nowhere in sight. _I'm going to kill those sons of bitches, _he thought.

"Dude, that was the best!" Kenny guffawed, high fiving Stan when they had made it back to the tour bus, safe and sound, minus a few articles of clothing and their dignity. Kyle smiled, "You're welcome, guys." The tour bus was now driving off, leaving Manhattan and onward to Queens. Stan grinned, "Yeah, thanks man. "

Suddenly, a soaking wet, bleeding from his nose and both ears, half naked Eric Cartman was spotted running alongside the slowly moving van.

"Aye! You assholes! Let me in!" he shouted, jogging alongside the bus, which was quickly picking up speed.

The boys looked at each other and grinned. Kenny walked to front of the bus (bypassing Wendy who was snickering as she read what had happened on Perez Hilton's site) and said to the driver, "Step on it."

"You motherfucking motherfuckers! Slow down and open the motherfucking door!"

Kyle looked out the back window and saw the paparazzi, hot on Cartman's heels. "God damn," he said, "That's going to be one hell of a road trip to Queens for the stupid fatass."

"Serves him right, fat asshole."

"Has anyone seen my other parka?"

* * *

A/N: Lulz xD

Fangirls. They do crazy shit.

(A/N from old MTS that I deem relevant: _I hope Cartman makes it to the concert in time to sing. :) They don't have to perform for a few days, so Cartman has some time to hitchhike. Hope he doesn't get mugged and gang raped by some minorities._)

_1, 2, 3, 4 - Plain White T's_


	4. Gay?

_I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face  
And it never feels out of place._

_And your still probably working at a 9 to 5 pace  
I wonder how bad that tastes._

_

* * *

_Stan and Kyle looked up furiously at the video camera now video taping them at four o' clock in the morning.

"Cartman, stop it." Stan said. He rarely got angry, so when he did it was scary. But Cartman didn't falter. "Aw, am I interrupting you and Kyle's alone time? God, this is the best thing that's happened to me since Kyle nearly died."

Kyle got up out of his sitting position on the bed and said, "Cartman, you fat piece of shit, you better put down that fucking camera or I'll fucking murder you."

"Sticks and stones may-" Cartman started, but he was interrupted by the pissed off redhead, who at four in the morning was a grumpy mess of frizzy orange hair and freckles. "These aren't just words, fatass. I will break your legs off, rip your eyes out of their sockets and feed them to you. Put the fucking camera down." Stan looked ready to murder Cartman. He crawled out of the bed, and slowly approached Cartman. "What have we ever done to you, Cartman?"

Cartman rolled his eyes and stroked his chin thoughtfully, "Well let's see nyah. There was this one time when we were eight that you sent an embarrassing video of me to Bob Saget. "

Stan was crawling further to the fat boy, who had a shit eating grin on his face and Kenny's expensive video camera between his chubby little fingers. "That was a long time ago. Besides we said sorry."

Cartman frowned, "No you didn't."

Stan was as close as he could possibly get to Cartman without invading his personal space (and thus getting his ass handed to him). Kyle was sitting up on the bed with his head in his hands. _This cannot be happening_, he thought.

Stan said, "Just give me the camera, Cartman. What are you going to do with that video anyway? Let's say me and Kyle don't murder you. Then what."

Cartman grinned and said, "I'll sell it to Perez Hilton, that's what."

Kyle piped up from his place on the bed, "What if it ruins our careers, fatass? You and Kenny can't have a band by yourself."

Cartman frowned again, he hadn't thought of that.

Seeing the expression on Cartman's face when Kyle voiced that little piece of logic, Stan realized that they might be getting through to him. "Alright, now give me the camera. And maybe we won't kill you."

"Screw you pussies. I'm going to sell this video tape if it kills me."

Kyle growled, "You mean if we kill you!"

Kenny jerked awake with a start. He looked around and saw the rest of his band members standing around in the sleeping area on the tour bus he usually slept in. "Hey, is this an intervention or something?"

Stan looked over and said, "No, Ken. Though you need one."

Kyle said, "Cartman has video of us sleeping together and he's threatening to sell it to the press." With that, Kenny's eyes widened.

He said, "Dude, you two are gay?" Kyle and Stan simultaneously rolled their eyes. "No, R-tard. You know we're not." Stan said. "Yeah," Kyle agreed, "I meant how we sleep together. In the literal sense, stupid."

Kenny grinned suddenly, "Dude, Eric, are you using my video camera?"

Cartman looked sheepish and nervous, "Yeah. Why?"

"There's no tape in it. So basically you have zero evidence." Kenny said.

Stan and Kyle smiled and said simultaneously, "Thank God." Cartman looked furious. "God damnit I am so pissed off right nyah. You guys tricked me."

"Come here fatass. Ever been sodomized with a video camera?"

"No..."

"Well, they always say you should never hesitate to try new things."

* * *

A/N: The story goes on. I'm kind of running out of things to say at this point. xD

_Gives You Hell - All American Rejects_


	5. Change

_Fiona says she's out shopping.  
But she's under me and I'm not stopping._

_Fiona's got him on the phone, _

_and she's trying not to moan.  
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing!_

_

* * *

_

Wendy smiled and looked around the hotel room she currently had for herself. Her whole life, she'd been stuck in a podunk, white trash, shitty little town called South Park.

But just look at her now. Traveling the world with four sexy celebrities, living out of five star hotel rooms and eating only the finest foods life has to offer. And, of course, getting treated like a celebrity wherever she went.

She remembered when she was young, around eight or nine, when she and Stan first started going out. They were really too small to really understand what being in a relationship meant, but she knew she was in love with him. And now, sixteen years and a few breakups later, they were still going strong. Stan was an A-list celebrity and she was his eye candy for red carpets and award shows. Yes sir, she was living the good life.

Wendy lay back down on her queen sized bed as she waited for the boys to get ready to go out for dinner. A little relaxation time out of their hectic tour schedule.

Unlike most girls, she didn't take forever to get ready. But, like most celebrities, the boys _did_ take forever to get ready._ Doesn't get any more different than life in a small mountain town than this,_ she thought, dozing off.

Suddenly, her bedroom door burst open. She sat up with a start, but calmed down when she saw Stan and Cartman. "What the heck? How did you guys get in here?"

Stan grinned shyly, "Wendy, you gave me a key, remember?" Wendy smiled. She did remember giving Stan a key, just "_in case"._

Cartman looked pissed off, "Wendeh, I have had enough of this bullshit," he said, "Stan and Kahl have been plotting to get me kicked out of the band for weeks now."

"What the fuck, fatass? Where did you get that idea from?"

"Well, let's see, how about the fact that you and Kahl switched my hair gel with fucking _glue._"

Kenny and Kyle walked in. "Wendy, we're re-" Kenny started, but seeing his three friends gathered in the room he said, "Whoa, a threesome? I didn't think you had it in you, Wendy."

Wendy glared daggers at him and looked at Kyle. "Kyle, did you and Stan play a prank on Cartman?"

"Motherfucking _yes_ they did!"

"Shut the fuck up, fatass!"

"Kenny, sick! I'd never share Wendy with that stupid butt pirate."

"Actually, it was me that switched your hair gel, Cartman."

Wendy sighed and put her head in her hands. She thought, _Then again, some things never change._

_

* * *

_

(A/N from old MTS that I deem relevant: _I like writing Wendy a lot. :3)_

_Scottie Doesn't Know - Lustra_


	6. Autographs

_No, we're not gonna work this out tonight.  
No, we're not gonna make this right.  
So I'll give a kiss and say goodbye.  
'Cause we're not gonna work this out,  
Tonight._

_

* * *

_

"God, I'm so fucking bored," Cartman muttered to himself, as he handed the photo of the band with his signature to the preteen girl that was practically pissing herself with excitement. "Eric, I love your music and-" she started but was cut off by a loud, "Next." from the asshole celebrity himself. She frowned and walked off.

The band was currently doing an autograph signing in the courtyard of the venue after the concert they had just performed in front of thousands of screaming fans in Queens, New York. Cartman was tired as hell after singing and jumping around on stage with the three assholes who did nothing but back up vocals and play lame-ass instruments. "This is bullshit!" he'd said. "Why do I have to do all the work?" he'd said. But of course, they never listened to him.

As he finished signing some girls stomach, he realized he should be a bit turned on by that. But he was just so goddamn tired. Life on the road can get to you like that.

He looked over to see how Stan, Kyle and Kenny were fairing. Stan and Kyle were sharing a booth and Kenny was on his own, just like Cartman. Kenny was flirting with all the girls that walked up to him and Stan and Kyle were joking around and being friendly to their fans.

Fifty bucks, for backstage passes, five per autograph per band member. If you want multiple autographs, you get back in line. A really easy way to fill their pockets, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, all the proceeds from the autograph signings went to a stupid "Save the Whales!" campaign. Which is bullshit, because all whales ever do is swallow sailors and pollute the environment by crapping gigantic turds into the ocean.

Cartman realized he'd been spacing out when the girl in front of him giggled and waved a hand in front of his face. He sighed deeply and said irritatedly, "Where do you want it?" She held out a picture of him and Kenny hugging from their interview with OK! Magazine two weeks ago. He quickly scribbled his name and shouted out, "Next!"

He looked behind the girl that walked up to him and saw that there had to be at least a hundred girls behind this one. He sighed frustratedly and said to himself, "When does it motherfucking end..." Signing his name on the picture quickly he looked over at the guys again, and saw that they were as chirpy as ever.

Then he noticed something.

Stan and Kyle's lines were ridiculously huge, while Kenny's was even bigger. There had to have been at least three hundred people combined in both those lines! He sat up out of his chair abruptly, startling the girl in front of him. He shouted out to the two lines next to his, "Hey, you stupid skanks. Why the fuck are you all crowding around those assholes? I'm way cooler than them!"

Stan, Kyle and Kenny deadpanned and sighed. It happens at every autograph signing they always do, where Cartman always forgets nobody likes him and flips out when he realizes people actually like Kyle, Stan and Kenny.

Kyle shouted back, "That's why, Cartman! Because you call our fans skanks and get angry for no reason all the time." There was a lot of nodded heads and a chorus of 'yeah' from most of the people waiting in line.

"Hey, fuck you, you stupid heeb!"

Stan and the other two boys simultaneously rolled their eyes. It was a miracle that Cartman hadn't gotten called out by the press for his racial slurs and insults he was so often seen spouting. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger and said, "Just sit down, Cartman. You're embarrassing yourself."

"That's it! Screw you guys, I'm going home."

"You can't, shit for brains. You're legally obligated to these signings."

"Yeah, lardbutt. Sit down."

"Goddamnit, I am so pissed off!

Cartman reluctantly sat back down and sighed irritatedly. The girl in front of him cautiously said, "Um, I've been here for a while. Can I please-" Cartman interrupted her, "Shut up, ho. Where do you want it?"

And so it continued for the next two hours. After the last of the girls had scattered when the maximun signing time was up, they packed up and Cartman went up to his hotel room, ready to crash and repeat it the next day and the next, until they finally were finished with this stupid tour.

* * *

A/N: /_insert witty comment about current chapter here_/

_Tonight - The Jonas Brothers_


	7. Eric Cartman: Revealed!

_They gonna clean up your looks  
with all the lies in the books  
to make a citizen out of you.  
Because they sleep with a gun  
and keep an eye on you son  
so they can watch all the things you do._

_

* * *

_

The tall brunette girl looked shyly at the tallest Moop member and said, "I was wondering... since you're the lead singer, how come you don't always have spreads in magazines ands stuff?"

Cartman blinked and then coughed, "Well, you see, I-" Kyle interrupted him, "Because nobody cares enough about him to read a magazine article on him."

Cartman saw red, "Shut the fuck up, Jew! You don't know anything!"

It was a Tuesday and the boys had to spend their entire free day with some girl who had won a contest. Lame. The girl's interest seemed to be piked and she said, "Why do you guys pick on him so much?"

Stan smiled and said, "Well, Diane, it all started when we were in preschool..."

The next day, headlines all ove read,

_ERIC CARTMAN!_

_NAZI, RACIST AND MURDERER?_

_What you didn't know about Moop's frontman!_

Cartman put his heads in his hands and mumbled, "Aw, weak..."

Kyle smirked, "Serves you right, fatass."

* * *

A/N: Listening to the SP movie soundtrack. Can't wait to be done with this, so I can write new ones!

_Teenagers - My Chemical Romace_


	8. Happy Birthday!

_I like the way you, put your hands up in the air,  
I like the way you, shake your hair,  
I like the way you, like to touch,  
I like the way you, stare so much,  
but most of all...  
Yeah, most of all..._

* * *

"I like the way you move!" sang Cartman, flicking his head back, trying to get his sweaty bangs out of his face. Panting, he whispered as the music faded out to the person positioned closest to him as the, "God, I hate that song. Stan is such a shit songwriter." Kyle rolled his eyes and didn't respond. Stan, who had overheard, whispered back, "This coming from the fucking doofus who thinks 'eye' is spelled with a capital 'I', shut the fuck up."

The crowd cheered and the band took their routine bow. Kyle took the mic, "Thanks for coming you guys! Are you ready?" he said and the crowed cheered. Him, Stan and Kenny all shared knowing smiles. Cartman looked confused, "Dude," he whispered to Kyle, "That was our last song."

Kyle just smiled and said, "Alright guys, like we rehearsed before the show. One, two..."

"Happy birthday to you!" the crowd of thousands of people sang. Today was Cartman's birthday, and since it was a tour date, they had to perform. But rather than do nothing, they had talked to the crowd before Cartman came on to sing.

"Happy birthday, dear Cartman! Happy birthday to you!" they finished.

Cartman was blushing, and he had a rare smile on his face. Not the kind of smile they were used to seeing, like when somebody was in pain or he had just turned someone's parents into chili. No, it was the kind of smile you get when your best friends surprise you with a serenade of 'Happy Birthday' courtesy of thousands of your fans.

When they had finished, Stan, Kyle and Kenny smiled and chorused, "Happy birthday, Cartman!" Kyle's grin was the widest, all his previous agitation at Cartman vanished when he saw Cartman smiling. He had been the one who had thought of surprising Cartman on his birthday.

Cartman grinned and said, "Thanks guys, but I was expecting a more expensive present, if you know what I mean."

The crowd laughed and the guys rolled their eyes.

"We're partying hard tonight and you're not paying a dime. Be grateful, fatass." said Kenny. Stan said into the mic, "Guess what guys, everyone with backstage passes is invited to party with us at Club Zydeco tonight. Refer to our publicist, Wendy, for directions."

"Goodnight everyone!" the guys chorused, taking another bow and finally exiting the stage area to the sound of cheers and a few 'Happy Birthday, Cartman!'s.

It was three in the morning, and the boys were all suitably drunk. They had just left the club they went to after the show, and even the usually uptight Kyle was on the verge of throwing up all over his shoes. As Kyle was holding a nearly passed out Cartman upright and Stan and Kenny were giggling about nothing in particular, the paparazzi's camera flashes were blinding Wendy. She cried out, "Hey, could you guys let up a little bit?"

Most of the annoying cameramen grinned and one piped up, "Sorry, Ms. Testaburger. Business as usual." She sighed and opened the car door and they all got in.

As she sat down, Cartman passed out. Wendy rolled her eyes as Stan was trying to feel her up. Normally, she would have let him. But he reeked of alcohol and probably had no idea where he was.

Cartman was passed out on Kyle's lap, and Kenny was giggling and drawing a unibrow on him. Crowds of paparazzi followed the limo as pulled out the parking lot.

"Stan stop." Wendy said, "Your friends are right there."

Stan grinned and said, his words slurred, "Cartman's passed out, Kenny isn't paying any attention to us."

"What about Kyle?" she said, agitation clearly evident in her voice. Normally, she would have given the boys hell for going out and getting ridiculously drunk, but since today was a special occasion she'd made an exception. She knew that the stunt they had pulled earlier tonight with Cartman and his birthday song was cute, so it was basically a free pass out of the media's bad graces.

Stan and Wendy looked over at Kyle, who hiccuped and promptly threw up into a garbage can, which was conveniently located next to him. Kyle looked even more out of it than Stan. He hiccuped and then passed out on top of Cartman. Kenny was having a field day drawing naughty words and special body parts on his unconscious bandmates' faces.

Wendy gave Stan the okay to continue, but Stan had already passed out, his head located uncomfortably between Wendy's breasts.

She shoved him off and sighed, "I guess it's just you and me now, Ken." She looked at Cartman and Kyle who had 'penus' and 'vageyena' written on their foreheads.

Kenny was giggling, and didn't even notice his name being called. Suddenly, his face went green and he threw up into the same bin Kyle did, then promptly passed out.

Wendy growled and muttered to nobody in particular, "Happy birthday, fatass. Good luck with your hangover in the morning." There was still a way to go to their hotel, so she rolled over and closed her eyes. The limousine reeked of expensive cologne and vomit, never a good combination. But she drifted off into dreamland nonetheless.

* * *

A/N: I have big plans my friends! Both for MTS and separate stuff! :D I am very excited.

(A/N from old MTS that I deem relevant: I know I'm a bit late for Cartman's birthday, but whatever.

I DO WHAT AH WANT.)

_I Like the Way you Move - The Bodyrockers  
_


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